LIE: I can never do enough

Listen to this article

Lie:      I can never do enough.

Truth: Doing God’s will is enough.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. — Matthew 11:28–30

Today, most of us live in a sea of unfinished projects, good intentions and expectations of others. We’re aware, at least vaguely, of hundreds of untapped opportunities and unmet needs. It appears that, if only our abilities and the world’s needs could be matched, all would be well. We know we have limits. The problem is, we have trouble discerning how far those limits can go. Consequently, many people live in a perpetual state of low-level guilt – false guilt that is – because they cannot possibly meet all of the needs that they imagine themselves meeting.

At least three things factor into this predicament: an increase in expectations and responsibilities, in capacity, and in our personal connections.

1  Expectations/responsibilities. The last half century drastically increased the number and size of our expectations and responsibilities. This includes responsibilities for transportation, education, communication, personal health, housing and more. Things like tracking oil changes, bus schedules and bank accounts are completely new for the individual. Also studying for algebra exams, taking precautions for children who may have peanut allergies, replying to emails and applying for health insurance – all new. Some expectations are potentially life threatening if not done or done properly, like securing children in car seats, or not exceeding the speed limit or monitoring toddlers around swimming pools.

All of these and thousands more new-found responsibilities are real and many are legally binding and considered ‘reasonable care.’ None of this is disputed; it’s all part of living in the big, wide, wonderful world. But the sum total of these responsibilities weigh heavily upon us and can easily become overwhelming, even crushing, especially to immigrants from third-world cultures, the elderly or the mentally-challenged. No one really knows the extent of the effects of these responsibilities upon the individual in terms of mental or physical health. In the face of all these new responsibilities where do we draw the line of ‘enough?’

2  Capacity. Some would say our saving grace is a corresponding increase in our capacity. And by capacity I mean our new-found abilities, that is, the ways that technology has augmented our natural abilities. For example, for the responsibilities of a suburban house, we have mowers and stoves and garage door openers and refrigerators. All of these machines amplify our natural abilities, but also require additional responsibilities, which in turn may require additional capacity. This turns into a vicious cycle which can quickly submerge even the strongest among us. This cycle begs to be completed, but sadly, there is no ‘done,’ no enough. Consequently, this endless cycle offers little to no real rest.

3  Personal connections. There’s no getting around it. We humans are tenaciously social creatures and will try to find social connection one way or the other. But in many ways, the first two increases, that is, responsibility and capacity, have tended to isolate and separate the individual from his family and social structure. Yet each individual yearns for and cannot live without human connection. So, if we cannot have real human connection, we will invent ways to provide ourselves with it virtually. And so we have created an entire virtual world fitted with various forms and degrees of relationship. Starting with the telegraph and telephone and gradually increasing the number and visibility of the connections – radio, TV and the internet, which spawned its own means of connection: SMS, email, chat, blogs, web pages, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and much more. All these provide an anonymous, personal or hybrid connection, in lieu of a tangible, flesh and blood relationship.

Connections now span the earth. The average person now has hundreds of Facebook friends. A single YouTube video can quite easily have thousands, even millions of hits. We now connect to hundreds, if not thousands, of people everyday. The problem is, these connections cannot substitute for a real, live human relationship. A hundred Facebook friends does not equal a single true friend. But the truth is, a real friend is becoming harder to find. In the face of an avalanche of cheap connections, people really don’t know us at all. We still yearn for real relationship.

Admittedly I’ve drawn a bleak picture and mentioned nothing of the good that comes with these increases. I won’t argue the fact that much good has come from ‘capacity increases,’ but technology always thrusts a double-edged sword. It offers blessings, yes, but at the same time it comes with curses. We must see the effects of technology on us as individuals. And one of the most profound effects is its ability to put us into a perpetual state of ‘ON’ with no ‘OFF’ switch. We can never be done; we can never do enough; there is always more that presses upon us and pushes us, even enslaves us, to DO MORE. Many simply burn out, check out or ‘veg out.’

But the truth is found in the Fourth Commandment – “Six days you shall labor and do all your work.” Deuteronomy 5:13. Jesus said, “Man was not made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for man.” The Sabbath is God’s gift to man as a ‘hard stop,’ to an otherwise endless cycle. God knew that, otherwise, we would dig ourselves into an early grave.

The way to get off this never-ending train of increasing expectations, capacity building and vain connecting is to STOP, even every day, even every moment, and to remember who said, “It is finished.” He is not a slave driver. We take our directions from him. He is faithful to show us what is enough and what is not. His will is enough. Don’t listen to the world; stop and listen to the One who made it.

See also the introduction to this category: Lies attacking our self-understanding.