LIE: I can become more worthy of God’s love

Lie: I can (should try to or must) become more worthy of God’s love.

Truth: We can live and feel more worthy of God’s love, but we cannot be more worthy.

Divine love is at the heart of the gospel. Love is what moves God to rescue us: “For God so loved the world that he gave . . .” and “God demonstrated his love for us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” It’s a truth and a message almost too good to be true, yet unless we believe it – that we are loved – first by our parents and then by God, we cannot really flourish in life.

We’ve all seen sad cases of people exhibiting bad behaviors because they were not loved or did not believe they were loved: behaviors like promiscuity, anorexia and attempted suicide.[1] Of course it’s complex, but few doubt the foundational importance of being loved, loved unconditionally. Those who are not loved unconditionally by a mother or father have more difficulty believing in the unfailing, unconditional love of God.

With this as our foundation, we need to look deeper at how the unconditional love of God motivates us and then make an important and crucial distinction, the distinction of our worthiness, that is, between being worthy, feeling worthy and walking (acting) worthy.

1  We as human beings are worthy of God’s love and cannot become more worthy of it. I make this statement with no equivocation or exception. Every human being, regardless of his sinfulness, no matter what he has done or who he has become, is worthy as he is. This may sound completely erroneous, even heretical. But listen to the Scriptures: “While we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” We, according to God’s estimate of us, were ‘worth’ saving. If we were not worthy, he would not have sent his Son. His estimation is the only one worth counting.

It is true that we did not deserve God’s forgiveness. He was not required or obligated to save us, and he would have been perfectly right to condemn us. But the fact is that he did love us and considered us worth saving.

To some this may seem impossible, but consider the relationship of mother and son. Though the son may do something wicked, even destructive to his mother, it’s conceivable that the mother’s love would overcome and continue to love her son. Perhaps his ‘worthiness’ would not be consciously thought of, yet after all, it is her son, the unique boy she brought into the world. She loves him, despite his deeds and his character. Some may actually forgive her if she would disown him if his character were bad enough. But others would completely understand this mother’s love that transcends all – even what would appear to be its irrationality. So it is with God’s love and our worthiness, only the divine kind never fails. (I Corinthians 13:8) This truth is the basis for the next two distinctions.

2  We can and should grow in feeling more worthy of God’s love. Being worthy, an objective state, and feeling worthy, a subjective state, are obviously two different things. The problem is, we can and do often confuse them. Admittedly, it’s hard to believe and accept God’s unconditional love since we are so acutely aware of our sins and failures. Too often we’ve been subtly rejected or dismissed by others or perceived it so when we’ve failed them and the feelings of worthlessness easily follow. So when we inevitably fail God it’s easy for us to assume the same dynamic. But it is not so.

The only sure remedy to this cycle of unworthy feelings is to allow God to reveal himself to us. I clearly remember the time when God revealed to me his amazing grace while on break from work, taking a walk. Behind my workplace and feeling condemned because I had again fallen into my besetting sin. I felt like God had turned his face away from me, rejecting me. I had heard that ‘God cannot look upon sin,’ though this was a lie. But just then I heard, not audibly but clearly in my head – a scripture that came out of the blue – “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” from Joshua 11:5. My heart immediately melted; a deep sense of relief came over me, and I started weeping and praising God. He had revealed his grace to me. It was something that I thought I knew, but actually I had not really understood its import until that moment. I did nothing to receive this revelation except that I took a walk; I got alone and prayed. If we did this more often we certainly would understand and know God better. Our theology, not what we say we believe about God, but what we truly believe, determines how, and how well we live. It cannot be otherwise.

3  We can and should grow in walking more worthy of God’s love.  This truth is last because we will walk, that is, we will live our lives, according to the level that we see ourselves. If we believe ourselves to be princes, we will act princely – we will rise to that level; but, on the contrary, if we see ourselves as paupers, we will act miserly, beggarly, and we will inevitably sink to that level. For example, according to an analysis of the US Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics, National Household Education Surveys:

Expectations parents have for their children’s school attainment influence their children’s expectations and achievement, and early expectations tend to persist throughout the child’s school years. Research has shown that parental expectations for children’s academic achievement predict educational outcomes more than do other measures of parental involvement, such as attending school events.[2]

In other words, the best that parents can do for their children’s education is to expect them to do well.

This pattern of our ‘being’ preceding our ‘walking’ is consistent in scripture. Take for example the anointing of David by Samuel. In that act the prophet Samuel declared David, the ruddy, bright-eyed shepherd boy, straight from the pasture, to be worthy of being king.

Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the Lord came upon David from that day forward. — I Samuel 16:13

The same principle is true for so many others: Moses, the prophets, including John the Baptist. They were ‘called,’ that is, they received their true identity, their name. Then on that basis they lived their lives – they learned to walk worthy of their calling.

The same pattern and principle follows in nearly all of Paul’s letters. The first half of the letter is devoted to our identity, who we are in Christ; the latter half is an extended exhortation to live up to that calling. The letter to the Ephesians is the perfect example: the first three chapters outline our position in Christ, the breaking down of the wall of separation between Jew and Gentile, and the prayer for comprehension of the grand mystery now revealed:

For this reason, I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ . . . that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height – to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. — Ephesians 3:14, 17–19

Then, directly after this grand and sweeping prayer for comprehension, Paul turns the corner and says: “Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called . . . ” and then launches the rest of Ephesians, exhorting them to live according to the first three chapters. This is no accident; Paul knew exactly what he was doing.

God also knows what he is doing and now calls you and me to slough off the lies of the accuser of the brethren — the devil. As long as he can keep us from seeing our true identity – that we are worthy – he will have us in bondage. And so it is now with so many of God’s people, who, in order to get to this third stage of ‘walking,’ must resort to legalism and living double lives of hypocrisy. There’s no need for that when we simply believe the good news – the news that we are worthy of his great love.

See also the Introduction, Lies attacking our relationship to God.

[1] Of course that does not mean that every soul who exhibits these behaviors has not been loved. The cause for each of these is far more complex than any single factor, even unconditional love.

[2] http://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=parental-expectations-for-their-childrens-academic-attainment