LIE: I am defeated, part 2

In the first part I outlined the defeatist mentalities that we can easily assume if we harbor this lie. Then I described two of the foundational truths we need to believe to overcome these deadly lifestyles. In this part 2, I’ll go into the meaning and practice of the third and final truth: that we must take up our own cross.

3  We overcome by taking up our own cross.

Jesus showed us the way and commanded his disciples to take up their cross:

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels. — Luke 9:23–26

But how do we take up our cross – what does that actually mean? We do this essentially in three ways, all of which we do in various combinations. But it’s important that we pull these apart and see why they’re all necessary to taking up our cross.

Here are three ways that we take up our cross:

• by revealing, not hiding or defending our own weaknesses, failures and sins
• by sacrificially loving our enemies
• by speaking the truth, regardless of the repercussions

How we take up our cross

A  By revealing, not hiding or defending our own weaknesses, failures and sins

When Christ calls us to take up our cross, he calls us to be willing to go to any length to love and serve, even if it means being embarrassed, humiliated, misunderstood, rejected or even to be injured or killed.

In our lives we do not easily reveal our weaknesses and sins. Usually we go to great lengths to hide them, defend them, minimize them, or try to compensate for them. We will use any number of ways to protect ourselves and reduce our exposure and vulnerability. But God calls us to avoid all of this prevarication. Rather, he calls us to simply but appropriately admit them.

Taking this posture for ourselves obviously puts us into a vulnerable position; it’s a position that others can easily take advantage of. And yes, people will take advantage of us in ways large and small.

Our enemies use our weaknesses, failures and sins as leverage against us, many times without realizing what they’re doing. But when we relinquish the right to hide or defend our weaknesses, but instead acknowledge them, it removes the ground on which the enemy can effectively oppose us. This may seem purely tactical, but it’s much more than that. When we take this posture of vulnerability, we are simply agreeing with God and being honest with who we truly are.

We must not hide the brokenness of our lives because this is the reality of the Adam-flesh that we still inhabit. But when we also shine the light and love of Christ through these broken vessels, it allows the glory of God to shine through as nothing else can.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed — always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. — 2 Corinthians 4:7–10

B  By sacrificially loving our enemies.

When we find ourselves in these vulnerable situations, we naturally tend to do the bare minimum of what we need to do and then get out of there. But by doing that, we forfeit the opportunity to truly love our enemies. Jesus knew this and instructed us in these situations:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away. — Matthew 5:38–42

This also is non-intuitive. Precisely how could we overcome by going twice as far as what we’re exploitatively told to do? Because by doing so we show him (our enemy) that, what he means as a disrespect, a harassment, a ridicule or even a torture, actually is now an act of love for him. He means to control you, manipulate you, use you by means of fear and intimidation. But instead, when we love him God turns the tables. By loving him instead of fearing him, you bring your enemy face to face with God. In effect you’re saying: ‘You do not control me; Jesus is my Lord and he commands me to love you. You are not dealing with just me – now you are dealing with God.’ Keep in mind, that whether you live or die in the process, you also may win your enemy to God or bring him closer to judgment.

Paul also said:

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. — 2 Corinthians 2:14–16a

C  By speaking the truth, regardless of the repercussions

Does this mean we become door mats or push-overs to every slight? Not necessarily. But though we may appear to be or are thought of in that way, this is part of the misunderstanding that we must risk. At other times, we live in such a way that it’s clear that Christ is our Lord and that we are no coward. Like Christ, we patiently but boldly speak the truth.

Admitting our weaknesses and loving our enemies could lead us to believe that we are therefore disqualified from speaking for God. But that is the lie of defeat; rather, while we’re going the extra mile or turning our cheek we have a golden opportunity to speak the truth of God. And at those times we don’t need to say much; God will make each word very potent indeed.

Paul said:

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. — 2 Corinthians 12:9–10

Practical considerations

How does this happen in real life? It happens in small and large ways. But we must realize that our enemies could actually be our friends, too. The reality is that an enemy is anyone who opposes us, whether intentionally or not, whether maliciously or unwittingly or not. Remember that Peter, who actually loved and respected Christ – and had even just confessed that he was the Christ, the son of the living God – ended up opposing him and was called out for it:

From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day. Then Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.” — Matthew 16:21–23

What a shock it must have been for Peter to realize that he could so quickly swing from affirming Christ to opposing him, practically in the same breath. The irony is that, if we’re not careful, we too can easily find ourselves doing the same thing with our dearest friends.

Now consider these scenarios:

• Your overbearing boss enjoys scolding you in front of your peers. You admit your failures without excuse, however small they are. Yet you refuse to cower in fear, and joyfully and faithfully do your work without complaint.
• Your friend likes to make fun of your less-than-stylish wardrobe. You restrain yourself and humbly ask her for pointers on how she could help you improve your dress.
• You’re in an accident that is clearly not your fault, but when the accident report is completed, it blames you. You let them know your story, but you pay for the damages and do not protest.
• Your friend consistently ignores your emails and text messages. You refuse to be angry and continue to reach out to her.
• Your friend constantly interrupts you and tries to trump your ideas and suggestions with her own. You let it be known that, if this continues, it will affect your friendship. But you do not try to assert yourself or overpower her or manipulate things to get an equal say.
• Your friend winks at you when he notices your eyes linger on a pretty woman. You soberly admit your weakness to lust and your need for prayer.

Of course these scenarios are not prescriptive or exhaustive; they only give a glimpse of how many ways, both small and large, these things work out in real life.

One important disclaimer: in cases of verbal, physical, sexual or ritual abuse – clearly these crimes need to be called out. As men and women of God, we protect and bring justice to those who are caught in these webs of deceit and help bring perpetrators to justice.

Jesus died on the cross, and to everyone, including his disciples, it clearly looked like a defeat. But this did not deter him from doing the Father’s will; he also did not panic and try to explain everything. So don’t worry over appearances or what people may think or say. Like Christ, be patient and allow God to vindicate you in the end.

Finally, hear Paul’s concluding instructions to the Roman Christians:

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. Therefore

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. — Romans 12:17–21

See also: Lie: Some sinful habits are unconquerable.

See also: Lie: No matter what I do nothing changes.

See also the introduction to this category: Lies attacking our self-understanding.